My name is Manpreet Kaur and I am 26 years old. I was born in Jalandhar, India and I currently reside in Carteret, New Jersey. Relationships are one of the most important aspects of being a person. We’re surrounded by one another, and to think that we can live a life alone, is quite impossible. Friendship is the kind of relationship that we’ve all partaken in; either there continues to be those that have our constant loyalty and love, or, we’ve simply just moved on because the connection fizzled out. Nowadays, in this time and age, these relationships seem to be a joke; what with everybody dropping one another like it’s nothing. To think that people would spend 5-7 years of their lives befriending one another and then suddenly, their vibes are just different. The only indication that they allow to pass is the difference in their actions and behaviors, anything beyond is to be assumed. Friends, believe it or not, have the power to break and make you into someone that you either take pride in or hate.
Since college, I’ve lived on my own, and it was a learned routine, up until I began medical school. For the first two years of medical school, I studied at Aruba, and everything was perfect; I was doing well in classes and had even made good friends. Everything was flowing exactly as it used to until suddenly a friend of mine disappeared from my life without any advanced signs of warning. For the first time in my life, I felt utterly alone, along with various other emotions that were at battle with one another constantly. My confusion would seep into sadness which would just result in anger. I didn’t know how to turn myself around at this point, and so I pushed myself into extracurricular activities and studies; anything that would keep my mind busy from what was going on with the loss I experienced. It didn’t get better with time, contrary to what is said about healing, but I was able to keep challenging and pushing myself to strive for better.
I had my moments of happiness when I saw that my grades had improved tremendously. Those moments, however, did not last long, as things began to deter. Everything was going backwards and everyone seemed to be against me; those who would encourage me every step of the way were suddenly opposing me and colleagues that were good friends were the ones that were spreading rumors. “People want to see you do well until you do better than them” seemed highly relevant then. I heard disgusting things going around about me that I can’t even go into details about, nor repeat. At this point, away from my family and my friends, I felt more alone than ever before.
When everyone seemed to be fake and every place I turned to was hell, one person stuck it out with me, through thick and thin. This person kept me as sane as he possibly could. Eventually, however, the negativity began to overpower the positive encouragement from him. Soon it took a toll on my health and every evening for 6 months my body would burn up with a fever. I was clueless of how I always got a fever, but as soon as I was back home and away from the island, I realized. The symptoms I was experiencing got better instantly when I was surrounded by my family; stress-free with the people I love. With this new environment, I tried to focus on my medical education as much as I could. I dealt with plenty of failures, which were eventually followed by success.
I am not sharing this story for sympathy or reassurance that everything will get better. I am sharing this because I have overcome all of this and I believe I am already better; things have fallen into place for me, and they will if you just focus on what you want to obtain from life and where you wish to see yourself in the future. It’s important to surround yourself with people that have your best interest at heart. Don’t try to hang on to negativity. But most importantly, remember that success without failure is never sweet. Do not let failures scare you away, they’re steps to to the top; stand up when you fall and do it again until hesitation isn’t even a part of the process. Just a few months ago this story would probably have been worded quite differently, as I was dealing with my anger at the people who turned away from me. I hated how each person made me feel but someone reminded me how important it was for me to be thankful instead.
One path I’ve taken to rid myself of the negative thoughts that plague me is spirituality. It has been helping me get through the different milestones coming my way. With all that said, I have fallen in love with the person I have become. My focus and priority in my life, other than family, is my future in medicine now that I’ve graduated medical school. I’m at the point where I can share my life and all that comes with it with the person I can now call my soulmate. Most importantly, I am surrounded by people that have so much love and respect for me.
Loving yourself enough to diminish the negative vibes is the hardest, yet the best thing you can ever do for yourself. Just remember that there are people out there who would hurt you, who want to see you fail, who are competing against you. Sometimes, people will work so hard to be your friend just to to talk bad behind your back. People will invest energy just to bring you down. But in all honesty, surround yourself with people that appreciate you for who you are and what you do. People will talk. People will hate. But, some people will also love. People will spread positivity around your life and those are the people you would want to keep around you. They are the ones that help build you and help you grow, and they are the ones you need to keep.
My name is Manpreet Kaur and this is my Project Why.